69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
