New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
