I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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