Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
