bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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