I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize