I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
