Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
