When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
