I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
