she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
