You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
