Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Panties = found
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
