ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
