Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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