MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
