i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
