3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
