we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
