Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
