I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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