I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
