yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
