OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
