I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
