he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
