I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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