Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
