you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
