You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
