Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
