There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
