I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
