Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
