Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
