you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
