great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My vagina just clenched in fear
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
