is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
