so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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