wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize