The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
