A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
