Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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