Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
