I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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