Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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