about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
