Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
