The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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