Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
