i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
