Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
