This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
