My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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