I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
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