I wanna bring you to show and tell
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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