And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
