yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
