He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
