Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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