My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
